Society is nothing if not full of labels. We are compelled to define everything and use such definitions as a social safety net. If something has a label, we immediately know- or think we know- what to expect from it. And from that label, we develop a chain of other expectations based on stereotypes, prejudices, biases, assumptions, etc. For example, being a woman immediately defines you. It’s not simply WHAT you are, but also defines what people might expect from you. Some might expect you to be emotional, motherly, passive, submissive, eager to raise children or please, dramatic, less physically strong, or even inferior. Others know you are reasonable, intelligent, independent, determined, loyal, compassionate, and strong as hell. And this is true for other descriptors as well: your race, your sexual preference, whether you are considered attractive. But labels go a step further. We aren’t only labeled with those things we cannot control, i.e. our gender, but also are subjected to the labels we trip into throughout our lives.

Think about it. Were you an athlete in high school? Were you in the marching band? And what about the cheerleaders, or the kids who always seemed to know people much older? Did you go to college? What degree do you have? Do you have piercings? Tattoos? Did you get drunk before you were 21? Were you a young parent? Are your parents divorced? Or, nowadays, are your parents actually still together? Have you been married more than once? How many significant others have you had? What religion are you? Where do you buy your clothes? Oldest child? Youngest? The labels are endless and each answer will immediately give somebody an impression of what to expect from you, just as you may make immediate assumptions yourself.

Now, don’t get me wrong, some of the labels prove to be rather accurate. Social scientists can nearly terrify you with how easily they can explain your tendencies by your birth order and general family structure. And it’s true that we often accept our labels, even find comfort in them. The labels serve to help define us and give us a path to follow in life. But, these labels can just as easily make us uncomfortable, make us hide, make us feel alone, make us feel hopeless, judged, vulnerable, misunderstood, embarrassed, powerless, or simply unhappy.

So, what do we do when we no longer want to be defined by a label that is ultimately meaningless? We set ourselves free.

The truth is, it doesn’t matter how people define you. It matters how YOU define you. You have the control to decide what labels matter and which ones no longer will. You have the power to determine what each of your labels are going to mean to other people based on how you perceive them yourself. This is a simple concept, but often one that is immediately dismissed as unrealistic. I say that because even I dismissed the notion that my definition of myself would be enough. I’m here to say now, however, that it is. I continue to define myself daily by constantly committing to a new, happy, and free life, and I do that by empowering the labels I accept and accepting the rest as powerless.

Allow me for a moment, if you will, to engage in a written demonstration with you:

As of this morning, I weigh 360.2 pounds. Take a minute to acknowledge everything you think, assume, or question about me based on that fact alone. Do you have an image of what my body must look like? Do you think I’m attractive? What assumptions are you making about my lifestyle? How about my past? Have you thought anything about my confidence level? Intelligence level? Do you think you’d want to be friends with me? How about my emotional well-being? Have you diagnosed me as depressed yet? Are you feeling any sympathy? Sadness? Disgust? Do you feel overly accepting of me? Eager to help? Have I lost credibility? Gained it? Really take a moment to realize what this simple number automatically says about me.

Now, what if I tell you that 360.2 pounds is not my highest weight? In fact, I weighed over thirty pounds heavier just a few months ago. Does knowing that change any of your previous assumptions or feelings about me? Are you impressed with the weightloss? Do you now see me as stronger? Do you feel more hope for me? Has the lifestyle you previously assumed changed? Are you thinking I’m more active than you thought before? Less lazy? Or, has this new fact made any of your previous feelings even stronger?

Does learning that I have a law degree change anything? Or, that I passed the bar on the first try and have been a licensed attorney ever since? How about the fact that I’m a trial attorney, and therefore spend my days publicly litigating issues, or presenting a case to a bunch of strangers?

What if I told you that I played sports through high school? That I still have a good jump shot, can spin a basketball on my finger for a very long time, and l know how to hit a fastball or block a penalty kick? I was the president of my residence hall, president of my pledge class, and then ultimately president of a national co-ed honor fraternity. I am a poet. I can play three instruments decently enough, despite the fact that I never learned how to read music. I’ve written songs. I’ve performed national anthems at sporting events. I can cook and believe that plating is just as important as the taste of the food. I can paint, even draw every now and then, and taught myself how to cross-stitch. I can dance. I can juggle. I can sing. And today was the sixth day I’ve worked out this week and I participated in a 6-hour fitness event.

My point is this: the number 360.2 tells you absolutely NOTHING meaningful about me. So, as part of my transformation, I no longer let that label have power in my life. I have rendered it powerless by the simple act of announcing it publicly. In that way, I have set myself free of all the assumptions that label- my weight- provokes. It is not something I allow to define me, and because of that, not something you can accurately define me by either.

Now it’s your turn. Let go of the meaningless labels that you have allowed to define you for the last time. Announce them and then render them powerless by proving all the assumptions wrong. Trust me, it will absolutely set you free.