I had no intention of going silent for so long. When I read the date of my last post, I was surprised to see how long it had been. I knew- on some level- that I needed to write, but wasn’t making the time. Several post ideas popped into my head, but I always found something else to do instead of taking the time to sit down and get the thoughts out. Writing has always been therapeutic for me, and the Team TATE blog specifically ties together a lot of different parts of who I am. So, it’s a priority; or, it should have been a priority.

When I look back at the past couple months, I think I can see why I was avoiding posting. I was struggling. Interestingly enough, I think that’s when it is most important that I write, but it is also the time that we/I tend to avoid situations that will make me face my struggles head on. Thus, in true counterproductive fashion, I subconsciously ran from the

I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. I spent years being overly critical and downright mean to myself, so I have learned that the best thing is self-love and kindness. It feels a lot better even when times are hard. Yes, I was struggling, but I didn’t give up. In fact, I was still able to succeed at certain things. I got to celebrate Year 1 with DBC, participate in a great reunion weekend, and even got REALLY close to a back-up goal I had set for myself when I realized the first one was unattainable in the time I had. It’s unfortunate that I didn’t hit the back-up goal either, but getting that close required some serious commitment on my end and I was proud of myself for pulling that off. In fact, I actually surprised myself! Even better, I continued into Year 2 in rare form, at least for me. Instead of celebrating with food and going completely off track, I found myself feeling re-motivated, determined, and focused on continuing my journey in a positive way. Because of it, I was able to hit that 100-pound goal again, and proceed forward. That is a very big success for me, especially considering it required me to overcome my usual cycle of big success followed by immediate sabotage.

Ultimately what I’m saying is I’ve learned that I tend to pull away when I probably need people the most. My weight loss is still on track, I’m back on the right path, and I’m headed in the right direction, but my mindset has a tendency to wonder and it’s time that I get that under control. The key, I think, is awareness. I think we all need to check in with ourselves on a daily basis and figure out how we are doing. Where are we at physically? How’s our health plan? But, most important, where is our mindset? Is it feeling strong? Are we talking to ourselves in a positive way? Are we loving ourselves? Are we keeping our promises? If we aren’t, why not? And, what do we need to do to fix it?

I want to apologize for pulling away, and I want to recommit to anybody who supports Team TATE. I am back. I don’t want to go anywhere, but if it happens again, I want you all to feel comfortable reaching out and holding me accountable. I’m going through the process of learning a very big lesson: we need each other. People who are on this type of journey are on one of the hardest (if not the hardest) journey of their lives. We need to surround ourselves with people who get it, support it, and hold us accountable. So, just as I truly do care to be there for all of you, I welcome you have expectations of me in return. We really can do this. I believe in us. We can make this life everything we want it to be, and in the process I honestly think we can change the world.

Thank you for welcoming me back into your lives. Now, let’s get back to unbelievable transformation and happiness!

With gratitude,

Tate